god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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