I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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