I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
