we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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