I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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