How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
