All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
