My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
So vagazzling was a success
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