She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
