I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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