you guys were way drunker than both of me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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