I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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