hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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