You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize