I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
