don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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