Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
