I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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