We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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