Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
