Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
