Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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