Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
