Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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