I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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