Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
