I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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