we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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