So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
