i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
