Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
