i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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