I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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