Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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