I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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