the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
