I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
