meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
