I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
