...so i touched it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
