Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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