Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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