um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i drank out of a bidet.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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