Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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