I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize