Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
