I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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