yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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