We're facebook friends in real life
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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