funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
