i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
