She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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