is wine microwaveable?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
