she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize