pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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