She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
