Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
