Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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