I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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