Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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