Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize
