So drunk its hurt
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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