ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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